Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
