I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize