Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
