I murdered the dance floor call the cops
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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