This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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