At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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