I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize