Say something about gay babies.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
