We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
