dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
