What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
