This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
