i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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