problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
