yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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