yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
