So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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