pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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