I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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