he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
