Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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