Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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