Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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