he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
