everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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