I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
