You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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