Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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