Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
