my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
