Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Blood and glitter go together right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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