My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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