I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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