The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
