But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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