Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
