idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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