Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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