She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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