I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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