Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
