I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
