So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
birth control should be required to get into college
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
