i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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