Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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