I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
