don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
