just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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