proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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