i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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