I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
