shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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