My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
