the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
